Writing 101, Day One: Building a Blogging Habit

Prompt:

Let’s unlock the mind. Today, take twenty minutes to free write. And don’t think about what you’ll write. Just write.

Keep typing (or scribbling, if you prefer to handwrite for this exercise) until your twenty minutes are up. It doesn’t matter if what you write is incomplete, or nonsense, or not worthy of the “Publish” button.

And for your first twist? Publish this stream-of-consciousness post on your blog.

Day 1 Electricity:

It’s small and simple. The way that he can just touch me and i feel like some kind of acrobatic superstar. Like someone had run by, thrown a molotov cocktail on me, and i was totally okay with it. We are just looking at each other like we’re the only people in the world, the only two who stand on this rooftop talking. Like his hands are my hands. and our eyes see past just the paper thin layer of flesh and past to the underneath.

“Hi” And like that i’m confused. We’d just met, what am i talking about? What am i thinking?

“Hello.” I say back, wow, had to be original there Ella, didn’t you. You couldn’t just say Hi back?

Jeff is a bit uncomfortable now. He might have said something to me. I was thinking. I was thinking so loudly i’m sure they both heard everything. I want to cover my head, but i can’t. This is a social situation. I have to writhe in pain later, when no one’s around.

“Elle?” Jeff’s voice is a bit too deep for his face. I perk up and look at him

“Sorry, just got a lot on my mind. What did you say?” I glance over at the guy across from Jeff and I and felt so out of my skin.

“This guy says he’s into philosophy as well.” Jeff’s hand is around my waist and i remember that Jeff and i are dating. I’m making a huge mistake. I just don’t know if Jeff or these feelings are them.

“Yeah, i heard you like Sarte?” His voice was deep and bit quiet. I freeze up. HIs voice, all of him actually, was pulling me. I turned to him and i looked up into the dark little eyes settled in his smooth looking face.  My skin was getting goosebumps. He didn’t even have a beard. He wasn’t my type, he looked mopey.

I cleared my throat, “um, yeah? You don’t?”

He laughed and his teeth were so cutely packed in his mouth, and his eyes rolled around and met mine again, so fixedly. I could feel them. He glanced to Jeff for a moment, Jeff’s hand on my hip now.

“Nah, i don’t.” And then his tongue came out, teasingly and licked his bottom lip and i watched. I don’t know if he noticed me looking at it. He had to because he smiled and put his big hands to his mouth for a bit. I’m a crazy person.

“Yeah, i’m going to get a drink, you guys talk nerd.” And then i was cursing under my breath. I didn’t want to be left alone. He couldn’t leave–

“Bring me a beer” I shout behind me.

Suddenly the roof filed out, people were talking and laughing and dancing. Music was filtering back into the room. And he was standing across from me, hunching his shoulders, staring back at me.

“How do you know Jeff?” I asked. My intention wasn’t pure. what am i doing? exactly what?

“College buddies; He had to take Philosophy for his Prelaw. I was taking intro for my super useful philosophy degree. We hit it off.” Then he laughed and took a step closer to me, our difference in heights apparent. I don’t know if was the crowd or just him moving closer, but i didn’t think about it. He was biting his bottom lip and i wasn’t breathing. Maybe i’d pass out or die or something. I was staring at him as he stared down at me, “How do you know Jeff?”

I coughed and broke eye contact. I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t be thinking what i’m thinking.

“What kind of asshole doesn’t appreciate Sarte’s stance of responsibility?” I laughed to the ground

“I like to use evidence before i make decisions.” He was so close, i could feel him, “Sarte talks about responsibility and all i hear is someone telling me, not convincing me…”

“Are you a crazy Clifford enthusiast? What kind of evidence do you need?” I was talking to the ground. He was getting closer. i could feel it.

“Naturally.” He said

“You are insane!” I exclaimed and met his eyes. His eyes looked so sad. I don’t know why he looked that way. Then his eyes darted around for a moment before he cupped the back of my head. It was a gentle advance. Soft and ginger.

“I was lying.” And then we were kissing and it was perfect. It was sloppy and wrong and fireworks and dancing and music. it was funny and awkward and then it was over. And we were looking at each other.

“Jeff is my boyfriend.” I found myself saying. He and I were just looking at each other, still locked in this weird connection. He nodded, his hand still tingling on the back of my neck.

Then we were kissing again, and his fingers were rubbing the nape of my neck and i was gripping his shirt. And it was desperate and sad and smooth and hot. I couldn’t get enough.

“Jeff is my best friend.” He said, pulling back. My stomach turned. My hands felt heavy. What am i doing? Why am i doing this?

“What is this?” I said, hazey, heart running mad in my chest, “I’m not some floosy.” i let go of his clothes, “I don’t do this kind of thing. I just met you!” And then i was stepping back.

“What are you two talking about now?” Jeff had come back, and pressed the cold beer on my arm. I jolted; my heart was in my chest, “Wow there, little lady. It’s just beer, as you asked.” Then he smiled, and i felt that comfortable gentle love wash over me. I take the beer. What was i thinking?

“This nerd was just expressing his preference for Clifford.” I turn around to …wait…i hadn’t even gotten his name. But i kept my eyes away from his. i couldn’t be ensnared again

“Dude, i took one class and i know Clifford is a bit over the top.” Jeff imparted, wrapping his big arms around me. It was so warm and–

“Yeah. I was kidding around, but she didn’t seem to get it. Clifford made the mistake of getting too emotional…” He was looking at me. I didn’t want to feel it.

“Is that your excuse for not dating?!” Jeff was laughing, and i felt even more uncomfortable. I needed to go. But this was a social situation. I smiled.

“Ha-ha. You always thought you were funny. NO. That’s not why. But you’ve got a great girl there. Don’t screw this up.” He smiled, and i could still feel his eyes on me still. There was a short silence that felt like an eternity.

He coughed, “I’m going to get a beer.”

Then he left and it was like a weight was lifted. But I didn’t feel any better. I pried my way from Jeff’s arms.

“What’s up babe?” Jeff’s perfect jaw came into view and i felt so guilty. Things weren’t perfect with Jeff…but… I loved him. It was like magic…when we met?

“What was his name, that friend of yours?” I murmured

“What babe; speak up!” He was yelling over the music now.

“Nevermind!” I yell back.

… what am i thinking?

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